Monday Morning thoughts…
Speak Up! Your soul is guiding you to speak up and stand in your truth.
This may be one of the hardest things for some of us…speaking up and standing in our truth. We may act a certain way, say certain things and continue on a life doing something that we do not resonate with to make others happy. In return, we are left on the sidelines pushing through life instead of living a meaningful one filled with purpose and fulfillment.
How are you compromising yourself? Are you denying what you truly want? Are you just doing something to do it in order to please others?
Sometimes we need to take a step back and realize that somewhere along the way we have given up our right to decide. This can happen for many reasons. Without realizing it, you may have quit making choices in order to put someone else’s needs before your own.
If this message has resonated with you in anyway today, I am holding space for you to figure out where and what in your life is blocking you from being able to move forward and live a life where you are choosing yourself.
Once you begin making choices for yourself, it will become easier and easier to choose what you love.
Hi, my name is Diana Rose and I am a recovering people-pleaser. Yes, you heard that right. You want the vulnerable, harsh truth? I had become such a people-pleaser that I eventually and willingly gave up my right to speak up and stand in my own truth because I did not even know or understand what that was or what it even looked like anymore. I was not like this as a child. I was outspoken and couldn’t care less about much of anything that came out of my mouth when I was younger. I’d tell endless stories about life, I’d try my best to always help others and I could redirect my interests in the matter of minutes if that is what it meant to do the things I wanted to do in order to feel needed, wanted and loved. I am not sure what happened over the years. It was the path I needed to take and a part of my journey. There’s no one to blame. It is what I needed and what my soul needed in order to grow. And, now I can help others master this task as well as I continue to master it myself.
For a long time, I thought that being a good person meant always being available. It meant saying yes, even when I was exhausted. It meant understanding everyone else’s feelings even if it meant that I had to ignore my own. It meant making sure that everyone else around me was comfortable, even if it meant that I was the one sitting in discomfort. Eventually, I became so comfortable with checking in on everyone else that I forgot to check in on myself.
Now I can safely ask myself; What do I want? What do I need? What do I feel?
And….the biggest question…
What would make me happy?
And… guess what???
You are still a goof person putting yourself first and asking yourself these questions. If you are able to put the action along with your question you are even better. You will be able to love even more once you become a lover of yourself first.
For me, these questions became surprisingly difficult to answer over time. I spent so much time adapting to the needs, expectations and emotions of everyone else that I began to confuse what it meant to be needed and what it meant to be loved. I started to question, Am I at peace? Or; Am I keeping the peace? People pleasing can look like kindness on the outside and complete self abandonment on the inside. The one who is left with self abandonment needed this experience so please do not beat yourself up over this. Life didn’t come with a handbook. It was not meant to. Your soul reincarnated to learn and grow from everything. You can absolutely love people deeply and still create boundaries. You can care about someone else’s feelings without taking complete responsibility for how they experience every emotion. And, you can also be completely compassionate without sacrificing yourself.
This was a lot. And, you may be triggered because you may be relating to everything I have said in some way. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Hold your breathe for the count of four and let it go deeply out through your mouth…
You are not alone and this was one of the absolute hardest lessons for me to learn. I am learning that saying, “no” does not make me selfish. Taking time for myself does not make me completely unavailable. Having an option does not make me a “difficult” person to “deal with”, choosing myself does not mean I am choosing against anyone. What it means is, I am finally including myself in my own life without any judgement.
And, that is where healing begins.
Until next time…
Love & Light, Always!
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