Many years ago I had a thing going…”Monday Morning Thoughts”. It was kind of like a life blog where I’d write a scripture on my intuitive thoughts for that Monday morning which carried my readers through their week. Sometimes I’d draw cards from a deck I was being drawn to and sometimes the thoughts came from a dream I wanted to share with the collective and other times it was a simple life experience I’d share and 99.9% of the time I had at least one reader who said it resonated with them. My Dad was my biggest fan.
Why did I stop?
Life got in the way. It was more than “life”. I will share that in more detail at the end of this blog.
Many years ago I was very into fitness. I started working out and caring for my body at a very young age. If my memory has me right, I was only 12. I had a subscription to a health and fitness magazine that came to the house every month. That is how I learned. My 12 year old workouts led to my teen workouts to my young adult gym workouts with my Dad. In my adult years I became a personal fitness trainer. My Dad drove 30 minutes to workout in the gym I was training in just to watch me do what I love. My Dad was my biggest fan.
As I sit here today and write this…my thoughts are running deep. So deep that this is the first time writing about the loss of my Dad since he passed away in April of 2020. I had to move on from his loss quickly. The time that we were in forced us to. There was no funeral, in turn there was no closure.
I stopped writing consistently. I stopped working out consistently. I said goodbye to my personal training career.
Why? Because my Dad was my biggest fan.
The photo above was a picture of the first intuitive message I received from my Dad. I felt his lips on my forehead. A kiss on the forehead was his thing. As soon as I felt it I looked up and there we were in the clouds. A kiss on the forehead from my Dad.
He is no longer here and I have been grieving his loss in ways I never understood. Until today. Just For Today. Each day that I doubt why I am doing something I will continue to do it for myself knowing he is right there looking over me. He is still my biggest fan.
I did go back to working out consistently and I started writing again too. I realized that grief has it’s way of showing up. It’s been many years since I have done the things I love consistently. It is kind of strange how I started doing these two things simultaneously. This was my thought for today. If I can be honest I am unsure if this blog even makes any sense. I just re-read it and I almost deleted it, thinking that it doesn’t.
Just for today I am going to post it anyway. No overthinking. These are my thoughts. My Monday Morning Thoughts. I am just getting back into writing consistently and I don’t think it matters right now. What matters most is that I have a feeling this is going to resonate with someone because we all carry some kind of grief. We all carry something we have lost. Whether it was a person, a place or ourselves. I lost myself. And, now I have found her again and loving who she is becoming in a different way. Maybe I needed the break. I have brought myself back to the two things that make me whole. Caring for myself and writing.
Just for today.
Make it make sense, just for today this makes all the sense in the world.
Until next time…
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