For years, I believed healing was another destination to reach. Another thing I sought out that was broken within me. Another practice to master. Another version of myself to become. I was always searching for what was “wrong” with me.
Then one day, I stopped. I stopped treating myself like a project that needed constant fixing. I started listening instead of searching. I started accepting instead of resisting. I started living instead of waiting to be “healed”. Ironically, that is when I felt more like myself. Probably more so than I have in the last 10 years. Maybe healing isn’t about becoming someone new. Maybe it is about remembering who you have always been underneath the fear, the expectations and all of the noise. These days, there is a lot of noise. Social media gets very loud. Too loud.
What if you don’t need to chase healing? What if you just need to make space for it?
The title of my blog sounds like a contradiction, right?! Without realizing, healing had become another way where I had control over my life. I became so focused on constantly having to fix myself that I stopped experiencing who I actually am. I stopped embracing who I have been becoming as my children got older, life got busier then suddenly slower and I stopped realizing that I was changing through all of these beautiful life changes. I grew so unbelievably tired of constantly searching for what was broken. I stopped wondering what was wrong with me and instead I wondered what this moment was trying to help me understand. Life is filled with moments. Good moments, not so good moments and all that fall in between. There is never a moment that doesn’t show up for us for some sort of reason.
Healing doesn’t have to take over your life. It can be quiet and fit in just perfectly with all the life changes that happen as we grow older and wiser.
I came across this beautiful buzzing bee in my yard this morning. I didn’t post the video here. When I first saw him he was in the grass finding dandelions to land on. I took the pic of where he had finally landed, in my garden. Before he got to his final destination he was not afraid of being stepped on. He just went about his daily routine and went along and embraced every step he took to get there.
Until next time…
Love & Light, Always!
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