I just finished up a social media challenge where we had to post pictures of our 8th graders. Ten pictures, for ten days and of course we would nominate ten others to do the same. That is how the challenge goes “viral”. I think it’s really, really awesome! Why? Well, it brought up a lot of reflection which made me think a lot about all the years leading up to where we are now. Naturally, looking back on years and years of photos many came up from all of my children, myself, my husband and all the other special people in our lives who are still here and who are not here with us, physically. The years go by and we really wonder where they have all gone. “Time flies when you are having fun”! There’s so much to reflect on. There’s all the awesome times, the times where we remember wishing the day would end and then there are the times where we wonder how we even made it through. Parents, give yourselves a round of applause! You did it. Whether you are reading this as a new parent or a parent who has quite a few notches under your belt, each day that goes by make sure you give yourself a round of applause because it’s fucking hard!

Hard doesn’t even measure up. It can be draining, so draining that by the end of the day we look tired, beat up and lost. I remember the days where I was sitting in the living room either having a glass of tea or wine wondering how the hell I made it through the day. Most nights I went to bed with toys still scattered everywhere and sometimes there would even be dishes piled up in the sink. The one thing I absolutely did not have was a care in the world once the day ended and I was tired. “OCD” as they call it was never a thing for me. Sometimes I would wish I had just a tad of it. I would go to other peoples homes for playdates and such and their houses would be neat and always clean! I wondered how they did it. I would praise them and think I was the worst mother on the planet. If you are reading this and don’t know me I have five children all under three years apart in age. My last two are sixteen months apart in age. I look back now and I wonder if I have changed anything if it would have made any difference. I quickly stopped myself and here’s why…

Do not second guess yourself for two seconds! We do our best. We absolutely cannot change the past and we do our best, whatever the best for us looks like. Would my life had been a bit easier back then if I took the extra time out at night to quickly straighten up the house and make sure I woke up in the morning with no dishes in the sink? I don’t know, maybe. Would I have felt different? Would i have been able to workout in the mornings instead of doing the chores from the night before while my kids were still asleep? Maybe, I don’t know. All I do know is that I miss those years and I would re-live them in a heartbeat! So, all in all I guess I did pretty damn good. Why do we do that to ourselves? There is one thing I do know and that is my kids were always happy. They didn’t care what the house looked like and it was play-time all day everyday. At the time we had a huge backyard with a huge playground and water tables set up everywhere! Some of those tables were used as worm gardens and others were used as a bath station for the countless number of times my nature kid needed to wash his hands. My husband worked two jobs to keep me home with our babies and it was really hard. We struggled financially always trying to make ends meet. I look back on those days and I really don’t know how we made it through. But, we did. We even managed to keep our marriage alive! You see these are the moments that matter most. It’s these moments that we muster up and realize that time really does fly and we must cherish every single moment of every single day. The struggles, the good times, the not so good; it’s life. Stop second guessing yourself. You are amazing.

I look back and wonder now with my kids being twenty, eighteen, fifteen, thirteen and eleven. I wonder about all those days. The days that were hard and I quickly switch my mind to where the hard days somehow turned into the days that are now making me whole. We become whole from those days. We become who we are today. I learned a lot through my children and all the experiences I experienced as a mother. I learned a lot about who I am and I still wouldn’t change a single thing. I hope you have gotten some enjoyment from reading this and it made you smile thinking about some of the days that brought you the most joy and even the days that were hard. It is the moments that made it memorable and the reason we are able to reflect on them.  Always remember that time flies and you are never gong to get any of those days back. Enjoy every moment of every single day.

Love and Light, Always!

Diana Rose Borisuck.

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