If you are currently reading this you are probably wondering where this is going to lead. Parenting now and parenting before 2020 looks very different to me. I am not sure if it is the “times we are in” or if I have truly given up on the idea of control. My oldest child is going to be nineteen years old next month and thinking back to when he was 10-12, things were just so different. It really was not that long ago. We as parents are always struggling with trying to differentiate the difference between control and “just let him or her be”, well, I am anyway! With boundaries, of course; What if we just let him or be? Would that rule out all the fear that we hold deep down in side about parenting? Are we really going to mess our kids up? And to what extent and at what age are they held responsible for their own actions, which come when they lead with their own thoughts. I hold the beliefs within my soul that we all come into our physical with a concrete soul contract, meaning everything we go through in life was already sorted out when we incarnated after our life review with whatever higher power you shall choose to believe in. So, in respect to that philosophy; Can we really mess our kids up?
I have five children, yes five! They range from almost 19-10. I know, I know; Yes, we have a television in our home. I get that often! I also get from people, “Are you Crazy”, “Are they really all yours”? My thoughts now, Yes, all of the above! All kidding aside, I love it. They were all planned and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am noticing that when 2020 hit parenting became much different for me. I have learned a lot about them and a whole lot about myself. I mean it has been over a year now and for the most part the majority of them are still home doing this thing they call “remote learning”. I do not know if I am just speaking for myself, are they really learning? I know that I am learning that I am not cut out to be that “teacher-mom” type. I have felt more failure in the last year than I have ever felt in my lifetime being a parent. I find myself questioning my abilities all the time and I have even felt that feeling of when you truly just want to pack in in and give up. Do not read into this as too deep. I would never, it is just a feeling. It is a very dark, fearful hopeless feeling. I will tell you one thing, as soon as I gave up the idea of needing to control every aspect of their lives during this time I felt more at ease.
Things are rough right now and a bit crazy. I keep that feeling inside that things are going to get better, better than ever. I keep feeling that we all needed to go through these crazy times to put things into perspective. My children learned a lot this year, more than what the school will ever teach them. I learned a lot too. I learned that control leads to fear and fear is when we are settled into our ego. I have taken more deep breaths than I can count and I have learned to get out of my ego by closing my eyes and just going with the flow. Once we learn to do this tings do not always seem so impossible and hard. This practice is great for anything, not just parenting. We all have the ability to follow our intuition and learn how to control less and go with the flow of life. When we are in flow and we learn to let go of all we cannot control things get so much better! It isn’t easy, it takes lots of practice. Next time when you are in a situation that you feel you have to control, close your eyes and listen to that inner voice. Go with that. When we have our eyes open we are in our ego. Our ego can wreck havoc on us and lead us to making decisions that we would not have made if we closed our eyes took a deep breath and followed our inner voice.
Love, Light and many Blessings,
Diana
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