Well, I did it! I packed a mini suit case for the weekend and went on a little get-away by myself. No significant others, no children and no pets. Does this sound self-fish? In the past it would have to me. It would have sounded like the absolute, and I mean ABSOLUTE worst thing I could have ever done to my family. Guess what? They survived and I came back a refreshed new Mom. Sometimes all of Moms and Dads need that alone time. There is absolutely nothing selfish about it, in fact, personally I think it is needed. My husband and I have always made it a point in our lives to live as one and to still have “our thing”. Back in the day, however, I deemed it as “selfish” for me to actually go ahead and have my “own thing”. I hate to break it to yah, there is life outside of being a Mom, Dad, wife or husband. Please don’t think I am saying I do not love being a mom and a wife, I love it! It is my most favorite thing to be.
My short little trip was amazing! I went up to the Catskills to this beautiful hotel for the weekend known as “Honors Haven”. They have the most beautiful healing grounds I have ever seen. It was the weekend that truly changed me. I was in major need of change. A mindset reboot is what I like to refer to it as. I have been feeling that need for quite some time. Things like finding a new path to being healthy and truly letting go of what was still keeping me boggled down. Working out was always a huge part of my life. After clearing disease from my body and all that I needed to do to clear it(medical treatment), it took a toll. Lifting weights and pushing myself to the limit was no longer an option for me. My body has gone through many changes over the last few years and I love me for who I am. Trust me, it took me quite some time to realize that. It takes work. It is well worth it because once you truly love yourself for who you are that is when life starts.
Figuring out who you truly are after many years of waking up and beating to the same drum is hard. We all have that inner burning of the soul to want to just jump out of our skin and shine. It is OKAY! Repeat after me, “It is OKAY”. Guess what? I am waking up to the same beat to that drum and then some! There is nothing in this world I cannot accomplish and that feeling is such a good feeling. We always want more, I think. I know the saying, “sometimes less is better”. Not when it comes to keeping yourself boggled down because of fear and uncertainty. I left all the fears of what will happen when Mom leaves for the weekend and left all the uncertainty at the door. Aside from nightly FaceTime goodnights to my precious little souls I get to call my family, I was unplugged. Unplugged from the outside because it was me who needed the attention that weekend and no one else. I love giving, caring and loving onto others. If we cannot do the same for ourself eventually we will not be able to continue on and be who we want and need to be.
Putting yourself first is not selfish. It took me so many years to understand this concept. I love being a mom. I love being a wife. I love being “that person” to anyone who needs me and gives me the honor and glory of being “their person”. Their go-to. I love it all! Who is truly, truly when it boils down; Who is truly your person? YOU. YOU need to come first. We need to love who we are and know how to give ourselves love. Our soul needs to be who we are to be.
Love, Light and many Blessings. Diana
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