Good Morning Sunshine!

My day starts pretty much the same every morning. I am a morning person and in the morning is when I have always given myself time to do what I wanted before chaos rolled in. I love my children dearly, truly I do. Did you ever see that meme about coffee being best in the morning drinking it alone. I am the poster Momma to that meme. Most of you who know me by now know that my husband and I have five children. They are all under three years a part, most of them shy of two, down to our last two born who are only sixteen months apart. So, needless to say, my coffee time is my time and nobody’s taking that away from me. From the time they were littles I’d wake up to coffee already brewed and I’d be up before everyone. It was always my thing. My husband always worked one, sometimes two full time jobs and I’d babysit and run a multi-level marketing gig to pay for all the extras. Daycare and babysitters were just too expensive and it never really made sense for me to go work outside the house. Besides, I wanted to be home to raise out children so it worked out beautifully. I had gotten married pretty young and I was a young Momma, I dropped out of college to be a full time Momma and Wife and never went back. I’m still “finding myself” and that means coffee time is my time. Many things occur during this time. The one thing that will never occur is me not drinking it alone.

Still to this day, now my oldest being a few months shy of twenty-one and our youngest about 12, I drink my coffee every morning by myself. It is truly the only time I get to prep myself for the day. Sometimes I work out, sit outside and meditate in the sun, write or just sit and think. It all depends on what I am feeling at the moment and what my body feels like doing. Alone time is not selfish. In fact, it is very important and everyone should do it.

I have a little Life Coaching and Reiki Healing business that has never really taken off like I wanted it too, however it is still one thing that I will never ever give up on. Why? Well, because I love it and I know that when the time is right it will take off. I also teach Intuitive Development and Energy Healing. Last year was my first run with it and it was great. It ran from January till about June and I stopped right before the kids were let out for summer break. I am starting it back up again this January 11th, that will be our first class. I am still babysitting and home-based being that I want to be here for my kids and my husband is still working his full-time job in management over at an electrical company, ConEdison. Things do in fact get better and better every single year. I am beyond grateful. We make a great team and I will forever be grateful for that one solitary cup of coffee that I choose to drink by myself every single morning. It is a time where I am able to find myself.

I was divorced by age twenty-five. I had my first two children who were only babies and my husband at the time was struggling with addiction and mental health disorders. To say it was a hard time in my life is a complete understatement. Thankfully, I had the support of my family and close friends and I had gotten through. That was a significant time in my life that seemed daunting at the time but absolutely aided and contributed to who I am today. I would not have gotten through it without my family, friends and my morning cup of coffee which I always drank by myself. I know this sounds so silly. It truly was the only time I forgot about everything else and had that time to do whatever I wanted, sometimes that meant dreaming of better days, sobbing about what was in the “now” at the time and guess what; I did it alone. So, alone time was always my time. Just me and my cup of coffee. Some days I drank it in the dark and those are the days that I remember most.

Something crazy happened within that year back in 2005–2006. Bounded by fate and completely unexpected I wound up dialing the wrong number one day. I was dialing my divorce lawyer. Fate came through and I dialed the number to my ex-boyfriend’s fathers house. What in the actual fuck. Yes, it happened. I immediately recognized his voice on the answering machine saying “Yellow” instead of “Hello”, I mean all kidding aside he was the only person in my universe who had ever said that! And, his voice. I knew it was him. It was voice no one would ever forget. At the time yellow and white pages were still a thing(online, of course) so I did a little digging. To my surprise it was him who eventually led me to his beautiful son whom was the love of my life in middle school. God I loved him. I never forgot about him. Heck, I even wanted to name my first born son after him. My husband at the time wasn’t having that though, as you can imagine. Fast-forward just a couple short years later we started adding on to our family and by 2011 our fifth son was born on our newly purchased couch in our first newly purchased house.

You may be wondering right now what in the world does a morning cup of coffee have anything to do with all of this. You see, I always relate many life events to my morning cup of coffee. As mentioned, it is my time. My time to do whatever I wanted. My time to think, sort and breathe. My time to workout, write, read, or meditate. Whatever is was I was doing at the time it was a time where I sorted out life, moments both good and bad as well as the days where I had no idea how the hell I was going to function, yet I did. It was my morning cup of coffee that got me through. The morning cup that I drank alone.

Love and Light, Always!