Yesterday we took the kids ice skating. As I stood aside and watched all these beautiful people skate, each one with their own vibe I wondered what it was like to be a child doing something for the first time again. We were all there at some point in our lives. Most of these kids were just freely brushing by like they have been skating for years and others clinging on to the side of the rink as if it were a death sentence if they let go. The looks on their faces went one way and one way only. They were either smiling and having a grand ole time or they were filled with fear and wondering when time was going to be up. There were quite a few skating along listening to music or a podcast(I’d have to assume) or perhaps they were waiting for an important call. Each time one of my kids skated by I’d smile and give them a thumbs up and think how proud I am that they just went with it.
Imagine being that child skating and not worrying about anything else but what they are doing in that moment? No fear and no worry. Most of us were there at one point in our lives. We were either the kid skating along or the one clinging on to the side for dear life. I remember being a little bit of both. Although I never liked the winter or any of the sports that came along with it, I did it. Or, I was sitting by the window in our Lithonia, Queens home sipping hot chocolate and watching everyone else play outside in the snow. I’d sit there and wonder, always in deep thought. I just went with the flow. If you gave me a pair of rollerblades during the spring or summer I’d skate away like it was nothing. Now, Nope. Not a chance! My fears are a lot different than they were when I was a kid. Back then I was always afraid someone was looking at me and thinking the worst, now I’m just afraid. My hips were a strong force to be reckon with as they held together a womb five times. Skating probably would not be a good idea at this point in my life.
Afraid to let go, like the skater yesterday. The ones clinging on to the sides. I know I have it in me to be an amazing full time blogger, maybe even making money doing it some day. So, what am I afraid of? What is stopping me from stepping away from writing my book and just blogging away! I have so much to tell. My imagination is endless and my stories can go on forever. I’m an observer with lots to say and my mind is always going.
Every time I caught notice of a child clinging on to the side of the wall yesterday I felt it on a very deep level. It is how I am feeling now. If only the fear of the unknown would just wash away and clear the path. It isn’t something that will just happen, I am very aware that it is something that I have to work on, or not? I know it’s meant to be. I just have to take the plunge and keep writing. “Write like no one is watching”. Is that what it is? Am I afraid to be judged, receive bad comments on a thread from someone that has no problem with writing something terrible behind their screen? I know deep down that most would never say it other people’s faces. That I know for a fact. I always took constructive criticism pretty well, I think. Although if you asked any astrologer out there they’d tell you that was absolutely not true. And yes, I am going to keep you guessing if you are an astrologer wondering what sign I am(wink). Maybe that is what it is! Maybe I should stop reading my horoscope and just be the child who put their skates on yesterday and skated like no one was watching.
Love and Light, Always!
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